Tuesday, August 5, 2008

-- jury duty tomorrow

I have jury duty tomorrow. I just called to see if I am actually needed -- sometimes the summons gets canceled.

I got all excited when I heard the voice recording:

Disembodied voice: "Group number ONE, please report at 7:30am...."

me (thinking): "YES! I'm group 300. Maybe I won't have to come until the afternoon! If at all! They'll surely have enough people between groups 1 and 300 to keep 'em busy for a while."

Disembodied voice: "NEXT group. Groups 300-375, please report at..."

me: "What happened to groups 2-199?? Oh frak. Well please say 12 noon, please say 12 noon..."

Disembodied voice (cheerfully): "7:30am!"

me: groan.

Disembodied voice: "There is a fridge and a microwave if you bring food."

me (thinking): "Great. That means there's no place to buy it."

Last time I bought lunch from a vending machine I became violently ill an hour later and will never again trust unattended ham.

Let's see if this is as interesting as Dan's latest jury service, where some guy ran from the cops to save his drug stash but not before losing a big bag of cash in a hot getaway pursuit. The cops had been searching the car and placed the bag on top of the vehicle when the guy suddenly burst away from them, hopped in and took off. The cash flew into the air, clouds of money swirling around as people wrecked their cars stopping to grab some.

When I heard this, my immediate thought was, why am I never on the road when bags of money fly into the air and disburse? What the hell is wrong with me? Must have bad wealth karma or something. ugh!

5 comments:

Niffer said...

I've never had jury duty but I'm beginning to wonder why. Sometimes I wonder if I accidentally throw away the announcement thinking it's junk mail. I know you can get arrested for not showing up for jury duty, but what if you don't know that you were summoned?

TONY a.k.a. i sWEAT bUTTER said...

note to self:
"never trust unattended ham."

DUALLY NOTED.
thanks.

Niffer said...

I was thinking about your karma comment and I almost completely agreed with it and wondered what I could do to increase the chances of me being on the road when the money goes flying. However, then I thought about that truck that drove off the overpass a couple years ago. Remember that? Something like the first handful of cars that drove into the fire didn't make it out? When you think about that example, it makes you start avoiding overpasses. There was an accident here where an I-beam from an overpass collapsed on a car. What are the chances of that? It's crazy how the timing has to be JUST right.

Ok, I'm rambling on now. The point is this... we need to figure out how to direct the money away from the overpasses and into our hands. Have your people talk to my people and we'll work something out.

Mark said...

I like the part where they have all the potential jurists park way out in left field, in an unsupervised lot, for as long as they decide to keep you.

The lot is so far away that they run a shuttle bus for the most honored guests.

The other part I like is that if they manage to keep you longer than 2 hours and twenty minutes, then they are paying you at less than the minimum wage (P.G. jury duty pay is $15/day, Maryland minimum is $6.55/hour)

Then you realize that they are keeping several hundred randomly selected people hostage, while they only really intend on using maybe 40 people at most. The extra people are there at sub-minimum wages so they have enough people to go through the Voir Dire process.

Favorite quote: Voir Dire is just French for jury tampering. -Vin Suprynowicz

hautepocket said...

"unattended ham" Hahaha.

I'm supposed to do jury duty soon here...but I postponed it until January. Not at all excited...

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