Friday, September 19, 2008

-- The ABC's of colonoscopy

A is for a friend, who will B very embarrassed that today's post is dedicated to their Colonoscopy, the very joyful activity of voluntarily electing to have an elongated tube snaked up one's ass.

Because having a blog means I've thrown away a certain amount of my own dignity, I'll just mention that I've been there & done that. It was such a blast I can't wait to do it again.

Seriously folks. They're not painful (you get knocked out) and they can save lives, so I thought it would be important to knock out regular programming in the interest of bringing you an important health announcement. If you need one, go get it. Your colonoscopy can save your life. Here's more info on the colonoscopy if you want to learn more. But without further ado, I bring you:

Colonoscopy jokes:
What you're thinking (if not saying) during the colonoscopy:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey ..."

9. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

10. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

11. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

How to enjoy the colonoscopy:


TONY a.k.a. i sWEAT bUTTER said...

#6=ROFLMAO, and i don't typically 'ROF' because i don't like carpet germs.

Michael Berman said...

All I remember was hearing the doctor humming "Nowhere Man" by the Beatles, and thinking it was an odd choice given the circumstances, and the next thing I knew I was waking up with one fewer polyp.

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