Wednesday, September 10, 2008

-- these two people are not actually speaking to eachother despite how it appears

The other day Dan came home aggravated. "How many people do you think are in the Navy!" he spat. "Um, I dunno. 200,000? 300,000?" I ventured. "Right! And HOW MANY do you think handle procurement for training for ALL THOSE people?" he frothed. "umm, I have no idea." "ONE!!! One person!! One person does it all! And I have to set up training at work with that one person and it's insane!" Then he proceeded to tell me about his day. And I LMAOd. (In sympathy of course.)

Snippet of Conversation with this person, from Dan's blog. (LtCdr = Lieutenant Commander)
LtCdr. (Realizing that I'm not about to give up easily, brings out the secret weapon) Is your budget OPN or multi-year R&D?

Me: What is OPN?

LtCdr: (a direct hit!) It has to be one of those.

Me: (Extremely polite) Yes, thank you. What is OPN?

LtCdr: (Smug) It has to be OPN or Multi-year R&D.

Me: Um* this is R&D activity, and we've been doing it for years. Do you need official verification?

LtCdr: Is it OPN?

Me: I don't know. Please explain, what is OPN?

LtCdr: (Victoriously) It's what it has to be for me to take it.

Me: (Thinking that maybe this is a Turing test) Thanks. Does OPN stand for something? Is it an acronym?

LtCdr: (Let the circle be unbroken) It has to be OPN or multi-year R&D.

Me: Well, here's our Navy budget number. Does that make this clearer?

LtCdr: (Examining fingernails) No.

Me: (Frustrated, still in control of myself) The Navy gave me that number* it's the only number we've ever had to use* we are working for the Navy* you are in the navy* can you see if it is OPN or officially multi-year R&D?

LtCdr: That number means nothing to me (and that's not the only thing).

Me: What is the definition of OPN?

LtCdr: It's what we're allowed to take now.

Me: How can I tell if my budget is OPN or multi-year?

LtCdr: I don't know.

Me: Listen, I don't know OPN from OBGYN. I didn't decide to undertake this operation, nor did I write the contract. I have no idea what you're talking about.

LtCdr: Yes.

Me: (Retreat!) I'll call you back.
Read Dan's full blog post-->

*R&D= Research & Development. Anyone know what OPN is??

2 comments:

TONY a.k.a. i sWEAT bUTTER said...

i HATE people like that. the 'let me try and trip you up to make me feel better about myself even though i have no clue' type of sh*thead. i think they actually have a term for that in the navy- f*ckface, that's what 'ltcdr' is, a genuine f*ckface.

Michael Berman said...

according to Wikipedia (our closest equivalent to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, even if it doesn't have the words DON'T PANIC on the cover in friendly letters):

OPN:
Other Procurement, Navy, a funding appropriate category

There, now you understand it, right?

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