Wednesday, January 28, 2009

-- please do not ever throw up near me, and 24 other random things about me

I'm snagging this from a Facebook list I made last night. Some random things about me. You next?

1. Food must be kept separate. I will not sample around the plate; must consume all of one item before beginning another. (One exception: salad.)

2. Sometimes meat skeeves me out (especially chicken). Seafood's ok though.

3. I require complete darkness at bedtime. I'm a vampire. Light seeping in from the window makes me thrash and burn and thus I sleep with a covering over my eyes.

4. That being said, I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime with any amount of noise or ruckus. That's how tired I usually am. Once I slept like a baby on the hard wooden planks of a ship at dawn in street clothes while people mopped around my unconscious form. No, I was not intoxicated, just exhausted. (The thing is, I can FALL asleep easily but won't STAY asleep unless dark.)

5. I do not understand why woks must retain a "patina." That is muck which should be scrubbed off with brillo.

6. I've never smoked a cigarette. Hated others smoking as a kid and this repulsion exists even today.

7. I cannot hold onto a styrofoam cup without giving into the pleasure of sinking my nails into it. Eventually I will end up ripping piece by piece off just to feel it under my nail bed until I finally begin tearing it to shreds.

8. I am generally very congenial and understanding but if you throw up on the outside of my car and have nothing to clean it off with but a single McDonald's napkin, I will make you do it anyway. (Sorry, G.) If you throw up on the inside of my car, I will make you buy it.

9. I've only vomited twice in my life: once around 10, and again around 20, almost two decades ago. Due to inexperience, this is the most revolting thing I can think of and may be why I don't have kids yet. Or why I'll be so mean about #8.

10. I can watch blood being drawn and vaccinations plunged into my skin, surgeries on tv while eating and pop someone's giant boil while enjoying a sundae and it doesn't phase me. Just don't throw up.

11. One of the most comforting sensations in the world to me is falling asleep sprawled out on the backseat of a car during a long car ride. Even thinking about it makes me smile.

12. Peaches make my mouth itch.

13. I hate touching doorknobs.

14. My car is pretty organized. So is my filing cabinet, closets and projects.

15. I have a hard time picking up black stringy lint even when I KNOW it is not a spider.

16. I need time alone the way the parched need water.

17. If the dog horfs on a throw rug, I will just toss it and buy a new one. It is totally worth the money.

18. I love to read. Favorite time to do so: when eating and before bedtime.

19. Even hearing someone throw up makes me sick. If someone is somewhere throwing up and I know about it, I will be ill.

20. I almost never finish all of a meal in one sitting.

21. I took Spanish and French but am much better at the former as I can practice it with friends.

22. I hate swiss cheese. I'm the only person on the planet who probably orders a reuben with american cheese melted on top.

23. I'm a back sleeper.

24. I don't like the taste of water, generally. But force myself to drink it anyway.

25. Hmmm. About 1/5th of this list is dedicated to vomit. This tells you what a huge amount of resources are invested in its avoidance...!

More? In response to the "memememe!" memes going around, I also made another list of 100 things about me, and then 7 more....


Andy said...

I'm a little disturbed that peaches make your mouth itch. They are so delightful....

And, no, the other blog isn't private, just a separate entity, with a crazy long URL so here's the abridged link:

Lump said...

oooh good list! I'm a back sleeper too.

mini-mina said...

We have so many things in common. I hate smoking and have never tried it. Sometimes meat skeaves me out too. I don't much love the taste of water..

I could go on. Wonderful blog darling!

Rachel said...

I'm going to steal your 25 things for tommorrow.

As for the vomit, I totally agree with you. Anytime I throw up I cry, since it is nearly the worst thing that has ever happened to me physically.

Also, if someone throws up in your car, I certainly think you have the right to make them buy it. It's like the "You break it, you buy it" policy stores use.

SB said...

Were it not for my vomit-on-cue self preservation tool, I'm certain that I would have fallen victim long ago to some obscure, foreign, foodborne Mechaparasite and not be here with you today, enjoying your delightfully detailed list. At this point, my cast iron stomach has evolved to the point where nothing can dent it, not even drinking the fine water of Mexico City straight from the tap; THOUGH...upon reflection, the memory of a svelte and elegant Mexican friend ordering and relishing cow's eye tacos at our favorite, local, street corner stand does still induce a roil and rumble as if my stomach is bracing itself for yet another merciless experimental impact. That being said, I am going to prepare a protein shake mixed with powdered vitamins which are gag-inducing...truly horf-worthy! Cheers!

KD said...

Wow Shera, were you ever on Fear Factor? If not, you should have been. You could have probably won the 50 G's that they gave away weekly, for eating stuff that would make most people up-chuck at the sheer thought of doing do. Cow eye tacos eh? Sounds like something I'd pass on. Last time I went to Mexico, on the way to Chichen Itza, there was a guy with a side cart stand selling grilled beetle skewers. Ever try those? I watched in disgust as people (Europeans mostly) were crunching in and chowing down on them. I guess I'm just not that adventurous when it comes to my food palate. lol.

SB said...

When the show first came out, I would always be like"Aw, come on! I could do that!" But when you balance out the years of therapy that would be required to deal with the nightmares, $50,000 just doesn't sound like a lot on money, right? Of course, now that I own the Tom Hank's 'Money Pit' house, eating horse's gums seems like a small price to pay to get new cabinets, flooring, landscaping, and a roof put on my garage! Bring it on!

P.S. KD, I did try dried grasshoppers in chile and lime...

KD said...

I actually ate a grasshopper once. And I'll bet it wasn't as glamorous as your experience either! It was mixed in with a box of frozen spinach. As I was swallowing, I felt something weird in my throat. I thought it was a stem, but when I pulled it out, it was the grasshopper's leg, attached to half a body. The other half went down my throat. I was so grossed out that I nearly vomited. I tried to console myself with the positive affirmation that "grasshoppers are herbivores and only eat veggies". My wife corrected me by saying they were definitely carnivorous because farmers liked them in the fields because they ate lots of other bugs. Needless to say, it's an experience I won't soon forget. LOL.

As for the Tom Hanks money pit, I thought I owned it. Are we neighbors or something?

Deb said...

I am totally with you on the vomit (I run away when Lily throws up), and on the need to sleep in complete darkness. It makes my husband claustrophobic, but marriage is all about compromise. Well, no compromise there, must have pitch blackness.

spleeness said...

haha! Deb, I should mention that in our first apartment together, I had BLACK curtains. It was awesome. (But Dan hated it...)

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