Tuesday, November 24, 2009

that's what they have a poison control center for anyway

I found this old diary entry, written one miserable night a LONG time ago. I was pretty young:

"Last night it took me 4 (four) hours to fall asleep! I was so miserable & couldn't breathe through my nose & had to breathe through my mouth. Then I kept swallowing my tongue and choking on it & the noise woke me back up.

"Repeat till 4AM, when subject decides that the warning labels on all the medicine bottles can go $@!# themselves and she's taking what she wants, when and how, and that's what they have a poison control center for anyway."
It seems timely, somehow, that I would come across this as the swine flu's starting to hit. I've turned into Howard Hughes at work, using my sleeves to open doors and essentially moving through the day as if I had no fingers.

I was just arguing with myself to relax and stop being so fanatical when truckloads of hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes were dumped off Friday and distributed to every desk.

Anti-flu protocol, apparently.

But I've got bigger germ problems than an impending flu.

I used the wipes to clean mouse turds off my desk.

Evidence of critter onslaught was found in my department a couple weeks ago. A coworker lost an entire box of granola (foil wrapped and all) and several other coworkers discovered gnawed and emptied containers.

I gloated over my clean food supply that entire week (apparently calcium pills are not attractive) and bought myself a double-chocolate chip cookie to celebrate.

The next morning, I plopped down at my desk and began working. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed dark crumbs. I picked one up absentmindedly and rolled it between my thumb and forefinger while swiveling towards the trash. "I am SUCH a slob!" I thought. "How could I drop so many cookie crumbs without realizing it??"

Then I looked at it.

And realized I was HOLDING a mouse turd.

Shoot. I almost ate it!*

So yeah, those Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer are multi-purpose!

*not really but what if???


Surfie said...

Ack! Ew! We never had mice in our building where I used to work, but we always had roaches, no matter how often they had the exterminators in. I'm not a wussy person at all - no fear of snakes or spiders or anything like that. but roaches give me the willies. *shudder* I don't even care if they're dead; they're still creepy. I would have died if I'd found them in my food at work.

Maybe the mice will leave now that you have antibacterial gel and Clorox wipes. :)

Soda and Candy said...

AAAaaaahh!! Almost-eaten mouse turds! and they do look like little bits of chocolate too!

carissajaded said...

Ewwww hahahaha. There were rats all over the place at my old job so I feel your pain... kind of, since I never actually touched a turd. But I did touch my own rat's turd...but that is different.

Anyways, hilarious journal entry!

geekhiker said...

I had a mouse in my place last year and, every so often while cleaning and re-arraigning, I'll still find one of the little buggers turds!

Steve said...

Can't help with the mouse turds but the trick with the flu might be to remember how stress (and hence worry) depresses the immune system. The more you worry about catching it, and mess about with wipes that don't really kill much anyway, the more likely you are to catch 'flu and DIE! Oh, and antibacterial wipes kill all the good bacteria that protect your skin, so you're definitely gonna catch it. And then you're definitely gonna DIE. DEAD. SCREAMING, probably. So, my tip is not to let yourself er... worry too much.

talkingtostones said...

I returned from vacation to find the wipes & sanitizer on my desk ... without realizing they'd been distributed to everyone. "Hmmm, wonder if there's some sort of commentary here," I thought, only partly seriously (I'd been on vacation in a country near China, after all). :> Then, as I discovered we all had them, also discovered they'd found mice in our office as well while I was gone ... because someone yelled when they accidentally found a mouse in the trap by their desk.

Seems drama abounds around wipes & mice these days in every office. :>

You have GOT to stop picking things up absentmindedly -- first the box with roach bits and now the mouse turds! For a woman who won't touch anything standard, like doorknobs, this is a very bad habit!

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