"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband." Joan Rivers.
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven." W.C. Fields
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." Bernard Manning.
"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." P. J. O'Rourke
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year." Victor Borge
This year, in our household:
Happy holidays, everyone!!