Your After-Thanksgiving assignment: delete all obligations

You are hereby granted permission to "mark all as read" in your Google reader! Start this Monday from scratch, don't worry about catching up. Hope you had a happy one. Now go get yourself a turkey sandwich!

(My friend N checks on dinner)

that's what they have a poison control center for anyway

I found this old diary entry, written one miserable night a LONG time ago. I was pretty young:

"Last night it took me 4 (four) hours to fall asleep! I was so miserable & couldn't breathe through my nose & had to breathe through my mouth. Then I kept swallowing my tongue and choking on it & the noise woke me back up.

"Repeat till 4AM, when subject decides that the warning labels on all the medicine bottles can go $@!# themselves and she's taking what she wants, when and how, and that's what they have a poison control center for anyway."

It seems timely, somehow, that I would come across this as the swine flu's starting to hit. I've turned into Howard Hughes at work, using my sleeves to open doors and essentially moving through the day as if I had no fingers.

I was just arguing with myself to relax and stop being so fanatical when truckloads of hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes were dumped off Friday and distributed to every desk.

Anti-flu protocol, apparently.

But I've got bigger germ problems than an impending flu.

I used the wipes to clean mouse turds off my desk.

Evidence of critter onslaught was found in my department a couple weeks ago. A coworker lost an entire box of granola (foil wrapped and all) and several other coworkers discovered gnawed and emptied containers.

I gloated over my clean food supply that entire week (apparently calcium pills are not attractive) and bought myself a double-chocolate chip cookie to celebrate.

The next morning, I plopped down at my desk and began working. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed dark crumbs. I picked one up absentmindedly and rolled it between my thumb and forefinger while swiveling towards the trash. "I am SUCH a slob!" I thought. "How could I drop so many cookie crumbs without realizing it??"

Then I looked at it.

And realized I was HOLDING a mouse turd.

Shoot. I almost ate it!*

So yeah, those Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer are multi-purpose!

*not really but what if???

Funny Friday (you know you need it, especially this week)

This must be one of the most soul-sucking weeks I've had in a long time. (Then again, I say that every week.) What makes this so? Three words: lack of sleep. I just read today that getting little sleep causes weight gain, so in addition to being crabby, I'll be fat too. Just wonderful.

I've also been having computer issues. So I bring you something funny for Friday in case your week's been as bad as mine: error messages you can make yourself!

Play a trick on someone or just have some fun. Here are my favorites from the computer error message archive:









Make your own error message now -->

Happy Friday!

WTF Wednesday: a new take

WTF Wednesday is morphing. Today I bring to you two gems from the internet guaranteed to make you laugh far more than allowed for a Wednesday.

1. Now this first thing is is for real. Someone invented and is selling a Laptop steering wheel desk. First think about what this means. In what situation would you actually be able to use your laptop WHILE DRIVING?? Go see it on Amazon. The user-submitted photos and reviews killed me:

"This thing needs to have non-slide padding or ridges. My peculator and butane stove slid off during a right turn and tossed everything into the passenger seat. My car seat is now completely stained and ...it ruined a perfectly good cup of coffee. Oh, and my wife got burned by the flames."

"This has been a total lifesaver. It allows me to prop my sheet music against the wheel, allowing me to play the guitar with both hands while driving."

This gem comes from Garrick Anson (he's also on Twitter).

2. Letters from Blockbuster employee about overdue vids.

The correspondence between a blockbuster employee and famed letter-writer David Thorne made my ass fall off!

Here's a snippet:

_________
Dear Megan,

Thank you for your letter regarding overdue fees. As all four movies were outstanding examples of modern cinematic masterpieces, your assumption that I would wish to retain them in my possession is understandable, but incorrect. Please check your records as these movies were returned, on time, over three weeks ago. I remember specifically driving there and having my offspring run them in due to the fact that I was wearing shorts and did not want the girl behind the counter to see my white hairy legs.

Regards, David.

_______________
From: Megan Roberts
Date: Monday 9 November 2009 11.09am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: DVDs

Hi David

Our computer system indicates otherwise. Please recheck and get back to me.

Kind regards,
Megan

______________
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 9 November 2009 11.36am
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: Re: Re: DVDs

Dear Megan,

Yes, they are definitely white and hairy. Viewed from the knees down, the similarity to two large albino caterpillars in parallel formation is frightening. People who knew what the word meant might describe them as 'piliferous', although there is something quite sexy about that word so perhaps they wouldn't.

Regards, David.

Read the rest -->

Thanks to the IT guy Kevin for the alert!

How much do you reveal?

Sometimes I struggle with this blog. With how much to reveal, how open to be, how much to write. I'm not alone. Friday I read a great post from fellow private person and blogger Tara Joyce. She writes:

"...it still seems odd to me that I share my most personal thoughts with world. See, I’ve always considered myself a private person, as I keep my feelings close to my chest, dealing them out only to those few, dear people closest to me. I’ve never really felt safe opening up to people, and I felt a sense of contentment with my story staying mine, alone." [snip] "I still struggle with this idea. Being open doesn’t come that naturally to me. In fact, when I first decided to write this blog, I thought I would write it under a pseudonym, like J.D. Salinger. I didn’t want you to know it was me. Then I came to understand that the web is a table for two, and that the connection I have with you is only made possible by sharing my Self and my story. Without it, I have no voice, and, duh, my voice is my greatest tool. Whether I like it or not, this blog is about me. And I need to get comfortable with that."

Read her full post on Brazen Careerist -->

I'm so glad she wrote this. It makes me feel less alone in the struggle.

Penelope Trunk also writes about this in her post "How to decide how much to reveal about yourself" where she discloses childhood sexual abuse, marital problems, money concerns and other taboos. She's open about these things because there is comfort in transparency.

Me, I feel comfortable with a sense of community. I don't know a single person who has not grappled with love, loss, pain, joy, confusion, and hope. Study after study shows that what brings a sense of fulfillment in life, what people on their deathbed value, are connections. I already understand this concept. It's in my bones.

And so I try to be real.

I understand there's a responsibility to be conscious of the identities we create online -- a blog being just one -- but don't want my "brand" to so heavily cloak my outward self that people can't see the real me inside. So while it's a struggle, it's one I'm happy to continue.

Is your blog private or public? How comfortable are you revealing your inner thoughts online?

Laptop cozy: keep your screen private! From Geekologie

Ho! sold?? And new photo blog

Wow! My first photo, which appeared in the first online Twitter art auction by 140 Hours, has sold today. I'm thrilled!

I just launched a photo blog to show all the photos I've taken on the crosscountry trip and more. I'm pairing the photos with my favorite quotes:

http://wavianarts.blogspot.com/

There are only 3 photos up now but I plan to update it at least 2x a week with a photo and a quote.

Be back next week as I get back online (will spend the rest of this week on the photo project AND rebuilding my computer after the buggy Blackberry Desktop Manager destroyed it). See you soon & have a good week!

we interrupt this broadcast for 140 hours...

Today's regular TMI Thursday is on hold for the first online eva(!) art auction: 140hours.com. Voted by Mashable for the Open Web Awards, 140 Hours is doing something never before done in the art world: offering bidding online via Twitter.

So I entered this piece, a dreamy digital watercolor of my mom's African Violets:

These violets sit in my windowsill. It's a little triumph that they're blooming because the last ones I had (also a gift), I killed. (Is that enough TMI to qualify for TMI Thursday? lol)

So when my mom gave these to me, I was a little terrified because, while not quite like killing a gifted puppy, I still don't like murdering my plants with my black thumb. I was so thrilled they did NOT die that I took a picture to show my mom. Then I turned it into a digital watercolor because I just love the colors.

I printed it on canvas, it's huge and looks like a painting.

Wish me luck in the art auction! And if you would like a version for your desktop wallpaper, feel free to save!

• Follow 140 Hours on Twitter -->
• See my artist's bio -->
• See my photo on 140 Hours -->
  
  
• Or get some TRUE TMI action on LiLu's blog -->
  

The auction starts today and ends Nov. 11. See you then!

Test post from phone (and no, that zit pic is not mine)

I've posted via phone before but only by emailing my blog; right now I'm attempting a post via phone browser. So far I'm loving my new iPhone except I just realized my voicemail's been offline for days. I always seem to make these discoveries minutes after the last customer service employee disconnects their phone for the night.

In unrelated news, do you have ANY idea how many people thought that picture on my last post (yes, the one with the giant zit) was ME? Wow. Look, even I have *some* pride... If it really looked like that, I'd be in the emergency room!