visit to NYC hospital

I spent the last snowpocalypse in NYC in a hospital with my sister; my nephew needed surgery. So this is a belated post, part of the life-is-kicking-my-rear series that has become a familiar theme these days.

I'm posting mostly pics but also what it was like to flee town the day... no, the hour that another snowstorm was descending on a region already crippled from snow. The federal government closed for 4 days. Almost a whole week! When was the last time THAT happened?

Anyway, here are pix, starting with my frantic drive over icy streets to the metro:

Fleeing town: Lot 2B, Greenbelt metro station. Yes, I know it looks like someone
parked their car in a field but this is actually a parking lot. Covered in over 2 feet of snow.

Note: those were words that should NEVER be in the same sentence together: "raced" and "icy streets." But I had a bus to catch... which I promptly missed. By like 4 minutes! Noooooooo!!

I called Boltbus to reschedule but seats were filling up fast and they wouldn't let me buy another ticket or reschedule. It was the first day that any transportation was working in almost a week and travelers trapped by the first snowpocalypse were snapping up seats even as routes were being canceled in anticipation of the next ominous storm.

It wasn't even 10am yet and my adrenals were already burned out from dumping huge gobs of stress hormones into my overtired, overshoveled, no-water-drinking, breakfast-forgetting, nephew-worrying self.

I tried to distract myself by taking pictures that I could later pair with quotes of misery and despair, like this one. It's missing the ravens of death but otherwise works:

"It's not the end of the world but you can see it from there."

~ Pierre Elliot Trudeau

Late, but here! An angry mob leans toward bus, the last
before the snuffing of competition begins.

Salvation with a giant "B!" Aaand they had room. I breathed for the first time in hours.

Once on the bus, I chilled the freak out. It was awesome. They stopped at a rest station and I got food & water and then took a nap. Life was good.

Passing through Baltimore, side streets still crippled from
first blizzard with another on the way.

Those big lumps are (were) cars.

Arrived in New York 4 hours later and met my sis at a hotel we secured right near the hospital. The first thing we did is start exploring the room.

The exfoliating robe.

My sis discovered a complimentary bathrobe in the closet which, if you're into rough, bristly terrycloth, could be yours for only $100.

house lingerie

I myself was very amused by the in-house lingerie. Just because it has a leopard pattern on it doesn't make it hot. The shorts were cheap ass gym bottoms and the top was shapeless. I wondered how many people ended up in a hotel room like "FRAK I forgot my sexy!" Does this ever actually happen? (Not that this would look sexy.)

In the meantime, my nephew seated himself in front of the honor bar and began pulling things out:

12 yr old Michael, about to ask and then changing his mind:
"Um, should I not know what an intimacy kit is?"

I myself have no idea what's in an Intimacy Kit. Lube? Like in chapstick form? Gob a big scoop out with your fingers and apply liberally? Or is it a magic condom? Or maybe you rub the silver sides and a genie comes out to offer you intimacy.

The SEVEN DOLLAR bag of chips.
YES, you heard right. This is not the "party-size" portion either.

Corona, $7.50. Chips & beer, $15! You in?

View from the hotel:
Empire State Building, at night.
[70 Park Avenue]

The next morning we left for the hospital.

In the elevator going up to the NYU med center surgery floor.

The nurse hands Michael two gowns. "Here you go! Put one on so it opens in the front and the other so it opens in the back and this way you'll be completely covered."

He turns to me, "Why can't they just make ONE that covers??"

We passed the time watching this:

Brian Regan on hospitals (2:17 video):

Comedian Brian Regan: "I pull up at the entrance to the emergency room... no valet parking. I mean, if that's not the biggest OVERSIGHT in our solar system...! If there's ever a time where you wanna go, "Could you park this...? Because I need to collapse IMMEDIATELY." !

Playing with the computer while waiting to be called in. Twins!

Mom suits up to accompany her son into the OR.

The last smile we'll see for a while until
the anesthesia wears off and painkillers kick in.

In the recovery room. Let me tell you, it is HARD
to see a kid wrapped up like this. :(

Painkillers kicked in a bit.

Streets of NY after the storm.
Baltimore got almost 20 inches but NY maybe only 5-6?

View from hotel: Empire State Building by day.

Last shot of NY before I left the city on the bus back to Maryland.

Head = full.

It wasn't until driving to my doctor's appointment the next day, after the whole ordeal was over, that I allowed myself to feel the enormity of the week's events. It was the first time I was alone with my thoughts in days and I didn't have to be strong for anyone. So I was a bit red-eyed when I showed up at my docs.

I was extremely impressed with NYU Medical Center's cleanliness. Never have I seen so many staff wash their hands. Nurses even wore badges that said "Ask me if I've washed my hands!" I LOVE this because (having asked before) it's a question that usually engenders a huffy response.

Anyway, it was a full week. He needs a followup surgery in about 9 months. I will be there.

More Brian Regan, emergency room part II:

Nurse: "How would you describe your pain?"
Brian Regan: "It's killing me. I'd rather have shards of glass in me."

you asked...

This was a blast. I answered 19 questions from the anonymous "Ask me anything" form (at right). Have about more to answer, but here you go:

http://www.formspring.me/spleeness

Is it easier if I copy the questions here into my blog or include the link? I hate duplicating content but maybe Google Reader handles it better if you don't have to link elsewhere. Well, I suppose if you're using this IN Google Reader, leaving a comment is a pain so I may not know anyway.

Anyway, thx for the questions. I enjoy the dialogue!

ok, so I have spiders on the brain...

The wrong way to catch a spider larger than your face

I found this at the Laughing Squid and actually fell OUT of my chair. 1 minute vid. OMFG.

Snowmaggedon, part 2: the aftermath

Tycho gazes down the street.

These people are not going anywhere anytime soon.

Snowmaggedon: the aftermath. It took two of us 8 hours to clear a narrow lane from the front porch to the cars. This is the second time in my entire life that I've ever had to shovel my car to clear it of snow. (The first time was in December's snowmaggedon of, pssht, 16 inches.)

The narrow icy path to the front door. Welcome!

26 inches, on average... but many drifts were higher than that.

Did I mention another storm is coming tomorrow? They're expecting 10-20 inches and windy blizzardy conditions. Wow! Anyone want to move to DC?

The snowpocalypse II hits!

Snowmaggedon! snOMG! DC was hit by the biggest blizzard it's ever seen and it's awesome. (Well, because the roof hasn't collapsed and we still have heat.) There are reports of at least 3 roof collapses in the area (one at a Dulles Airport hanger for private planes, one at a church downtown and another at a house). <-- how much would that suck?

As of 7am this morning, we had 23 inches in our lil' Maryland suburb about 13 miles outside DC. I haven't measured the totals yet -- will tomorrow -- but it's staggering. Maybe around 30 inches? Here are some photos taken around dusk, right around when it finally stopped snowing:

Snow is higher than my knees on the front stoop. And that's WITH the overhang.

Dan, waist-deep in snow, attempting to photograph the dog swallowed alive by the white stuff. The huge lump next to the nearly-invisible canine is actually a car.

A better view of the frozen white lumps concealing what used to be vehicles capable of motion.

Tycho up to his chest in snow. This is his unamused "Byatch, please. Now what??!" face.

But once on the street, playtime begins! Here he is ripping down the road with our neighbor's dobie.

Light bands of pink laced the sky at sunset; first time the sky's been clear in (what feels like) a week.

Tycho has some mad dawg skillz. I bet you didn't know he could conjure a snowball by telepathy alone. It's all in the concentration.

By now, I could no longer feel my face, lips, nose, fingers, toes, or spleen. Neither could the dog, I think, because he was actually eager to go back in (which almost never happens). Also, maybe it's time to take the lights down?

Relief! Hot water, and only hot water, warms teh feets.

snOMG (AKA, been looking for an excuse to go foodshopping in PJs)

Yes, I went to the store. Like this. Been waiting my whole life for a good excuse to go foodshopping in pajamas and this "historic, crippling s'noreaster" did it. Totals keep adjusting from 18-30 inches. We shall see. I'll keep you posted.

View of teh whiteout from inside. More impressive photos await for the morning. I cancelled a trip to NYC, was originally taking the bus but will wait the storm out at home instead.

If you're home for snOMG, what are you doing today? Do you like snow?

on cookies and humanity

Student watching as the truck slowly pulled her car out of the woods.

Right now we're getting some slick weather, possibly 4-6 inches by morning. And so this reminded me of something that happened just before the holidays.

I was driving to work on a sleety morning when I saw a woman standing next to a car in a very incongruous place. My brain didn't understand -- a woman in the woods next to a car?

I immediately pulled over to see what happened.

The young lady was a university student driving to class when she slid on an icy patch and spun into the brush. She was shaken but ok. You know what it's like when you have your first accident and you're trying to remember who to call and what to do? She was like that, scared and confused and very grateful not to be alone.

Luckily nothing was wrong with the car (save for a dented trunk) but her tires were absolutely mired in mud. I tried putting floormats under them to gain some traction and pushing as she shifted into drive -- if we could just move it a couple of inches! -- but I wasn't strong enough and the car was too stuck.

We stood there contemplating how many hundreds of dollars a towtruck would charge when suddenly two other folks pulled over. They tried pushing too but no luck. Then a third guy pulled over and shouted, "I have a truck at home, and a rope!" He left and returned with a Ford F-150 and a chain, hooked the car up and hauled it out of the mud effortlessly.

I was so touched by the sight of all these strangers who stopped to help, people rushing to work in sad, gray weather that no doubt already slowed down their morning commute; two in business attire (now covered, like me, in mud); and the third guy, still learning English. He could have chosen to not use his resources in a country that isn't always friendly to strangers but he helped anyway.

All of us stood there in the sleet. Suddenly political differences, religious views, backgrounds and culture didn't matter. We were united without motive or reward, driven only by compassion and humanity. It was a beautiful moment.

No one asked for anything from the student, they only gave.

And the last thing they gave was a warm, wide smile as she got back in her car and headed safely on her way.

I was so moved by this that I got everyone's contact info and partnered with my buddy Vaughn, chief cookie guy (what a job!), to send the good samaritans cookies. He had just started his cookie company and the timing seemed right. It was a small reward for their time and muddied suits but nevertheless something we could do.

Cookies with a note of gratitude: "Thank you for your selfless act of concern for a fellow neighbor. Many people drove right by but you stopped and offered whatever you could (even getting dirty in the rain and mud). Your acts of kindness will not be forgotten. We hope you enjoy sweet cookies to match the sweetness of your good work. Happy holidays!"

I sent Vaughn's magnificent chocolate chunk cookies with whole cherries, but he sells other stuff too. See --> Decadent Cookies (But don't blame me if you eat the whole lot in one sitting! They're *that* good. I mean, Vaughn & I are friends and all, but not the kind where I would lie about a cookie just to be nice! ;)

Easily the best cookies I've ever eaten in my entire life.

Anyway, so thanks for sharing a memory that is sweet on more than one count.

funny facebook updates

Funny recent Facebook status updates from my friends:

"I did a split on the wet bathroom floor earlier that no gentleman of my stature should be able to accomplish. The good news: My score for technique qualified me for the Olympics. The bad news: I think my hip is broken, Regis Philbin style."

"Dear Retirement Advisor: Thank you for *not* giving me a prospectus with a Dude On A Yacht (tm) picture on the front. I will let you live."

"Like a squid eating dough in a polyethelene bag, is fast and bulbous. Got me? Bulbous, also tapered."

"If you want to feel thin, attractive, well-dressed and continental I very much recommend visiting Old Country Buffet."

"Craisins are neither crazy, nor raisins. Discuss."

"A bad analogy is like a dildo made of peanuts; it's confusing, offensive, and very dangerous for people with allergies."

"Surreal away message:"I'm afraid I cannot answer the phone right now, because I am a cat."

"After last night's absurd plot conceit, the screenwriter of my life is once again fired."

"When I say "Our Lord and Savior" I mean Bruce Willis."

"K wants to know the dorkiest thing you've ever done. (He likely has you beat, but that's not the point of this exercise)."

"File under things I never thought I would say until I had a kid: "Please, take the baby out of the carburetor." (Responses: Mine was "the toilet is not a toy" and "stop playing with your penis and eat your dinner.")

"Dear IE6: Why won't you die already? No, seriously. Die in a fire. Love, Kelly"

Any recent ones that made you laugh? (Apologies if you're a friend and I missed a good one! LMK so I can post it here.)

Top 25 funny fb snafus -->